Understanding vs. Hearing

In this world, there are two kinds of people. The understanding, and the hearing. Now, I don’t mean that those who understand don’t listen. I mean the way they listen defines them. There are those who listen to hear, and there are those who listen to understand.

So what’s the difference?

• Listening to hear
  They listen not to feel what you feel, but to hear what you feel. They listen so they can tell others what you said. They listen so they can know things about you. Instead of trying to get to know you, they are trying to get to know ABOUT you.
• Listening to understand
  Those who listen to understand don’t listen to tell anyone else what you said. They don’t listen because it’s rude to not pay attention. They don’t listen to get their mind off other things. They listen to feel what you are going through. They listen to give you advice. These people are those who genuinely love you and care about you. They are the people you can trust, because you know they didn’t just listen to relay what you said to others. They are those who really get to know you.

A truly great leader knows the difference, and portrays the latter attitude. A great leader will listen to you completely and fully. They won’t pretend to care, they won’t pretend to understand. They will understand, and they will care. 

This doesn’t just go with listening, but with speaking as well. Ask yourself.

• Are you speaking to be heard?
• Are you saying things because certain people are or are not there?
• Do you say the things you do without really meaning them?
• Are you speaking things that is only meant to get social approval?

If so, you should change your attitude to understanding. Speak to be understood. Don’t feel like you need to repeat things over and over because someone wasn’t listening. Great leaders know that the world doesn’t need to know every interesting detail about themselves. They know that they have two ears and one mouth, and they use them in accordance. Instead of changing their words to fit their audience, they stay consistent.

If you watch yourself according to this principle, you will be much more successful.