Sunday, November 17, 2013

Understanding vs. Hearing

In this world, there are two kinds of people. The understanding, and the hearing. Now, I don’t mean that those who understand don’t listen. I mean the way they listen defines them. There are those who listen to hear, and there are those who listen to understand.
So what’s the difference?
  • Listening to hear
    They listen not to feel what you feel, but to hear what you feel. They listen so they can tell others what you said. They listen so they can know things about you. Instead of trying to get to know you, they are trying to get to know ABOUT you.
  • Listening to understand
    Those who listen to understand don’t listen to tell anyone else what you said. They don’t listen because it’s rude to not pay attention. They don’t listen to get their mind off other things. They listen to feel what you are going through. They listen to give you advice. These people are those who genuinely love you and care about you. They are the people you can trust, because you know they didn’t just listen to relay what you said to others. They are those who really get to know you.
A truly great leader knows the difference, and portrays the latter attitude. A great leader will listen to you completely and fully. They won’t pretend to care, they won’t pretend to understand. They will understand, and they will care. 
This doesn’t just go with listening, but with speaking as well. Ask yourself.
  • Are you speaking to be heard?
  • Are you saying things because certain people are or are not there?
  • Do you say the things you do without really meaning them?
  • Are you speaking things that is only meant to get social approval?
If so, you should change your attitude to understanding. Speak to be understood. Don’t feel like you need to repeat things over and over because someone wasn’t listening. Great leaders know that the world doesn’t need to know every interesting detail about themselves. They know that they have two ears and one mouth, and they use them in accordance. Instead of changing their words to fit their audience, they stay consistent.
If you watch yourself according to this principle, you will be much more successful.

Having a good attitude

Have you ever known someone who was always the life of the party? They were always smiling no matter what was going on? How do you feel when you are around them? I know when I spend time with optimists I enjoy myself better and want to be as happy as them. If you have seen the movie Winnie the Pooh, then you know that the character Tigger is a great example of this sort of person. Always happy, always smiling. Now, if you have heard of Tigger, chances are, you have also heard of Eyore the donkey. Eyore is pretty much the opposite of Tigger. Always gloomy, always frowning. He’s never quite content. Now, if you were asked which one had more problems or trials, chances are you would say that Eyore does. Why? Well because he always has a gloomy outlook on life. My question is, why do people assume that those who have bad attitudes have more problems than those who would be considered optimists? You can be happy even if your circumstances are bad.
I think that one reason people have bad attitudes – especially when their life has problems – is because they feel like those people who are always happy have no problems. They justify their attitudes on their circumstances. They tell themselves “Well, I mean, if people liked me, I would be happy” or “If my arm wasn’t broken, I’d be happy…But because it is, it’s alright for me to be gloomy all the time” Do you hear how mixed up that is? That is like saying that circumstances make people happy. That everyone who has ever been happy in this world has been happy because their life was perfect. My dad likes to memorize poems, and one day, he started reading the poem Don’t envy other folks, author unknown. Part of it goes like this:
Don’t think when you have troubles that your neighbor goes scott-free because he shows a smiling front and battles cheerfully. No man!  He too, has troubles, but herein the difference lies, while you go idly moping round, the other fellow tries. 
Don’t envy other people; maybe, if the truth you knew, you’d find their burdens heavier far than is the case with you. Because a fellow, rain or shine, can show a smiling face, don’t think you’d have an easier time if you could take his place.
This poem really illustrates my point. Everyone you meet has, or has had problems in their life. Everyone has trials, even those who are always happy. One example that comes to mind is of my friend Rodney. Rodney is one of the most enthusiastic people I know. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who is as happy as him. He has an almost visible aura of happiness around him. He is always happy and excited, and he always has a huge smile on his face. I have NEVER seen him frown ever, and I see him almost every day. It’s impossible to be around him while feeling bad, because he is so happy. I used to think that he had never had a hard day in his life. I used to think that his life was perfect, all of it. Rodney takes Mixed Martial Arts with us, and has been taking it ever since we have. Only recently I learned that he can’t do some of the kicks because of an incident that occurred when he was about 9 years old. Back then, he was very energetic, bouncing everywhere. He would spend at least 3 or 4 hours a day just jumping on the trampoline. Around spring in 2006, Rodney’s right leg started bothering him. His parent’s noticed it, but thought he just had an injury from being a nine year old. As Rodney put it “Running and jumping all over the place, stopping to eat, and then going at it again.” Still, Rodney’s parents took him to a chiropractor to make sure all of his bones were in the right places and so forth. After the visit, they hoped his leg would stop hurting, but it didn’t. The pain got worse and his limp became more recognizable. It kept getting worse, and one day, Rodney was able to pinpoint the pain to his hip. His parents took him to the Chiropractor again and got an x-ray of his hip. The chiropractor didn’t tell them anything. He just handed them a paper that said: Primary children’s hospital. He gave them the name and phone number of the best doctor there. So they made an appointment. What the doctor said changed Rodney’s life. The doctor told them that Rodney had leg perthes. Leg perthes is a disease that occurs when the blood circulation in the hip has stopped, and the bone starts to deteriorate. The round of the hip flattens and it hurts a lot. It would take three years for the condition to run its course before it would get better. The worst case was that the hip would pop out of the socket and then Rodney would have to go into surgery to get the hip bolted back in. The treatment for Leg perthes is not to cure the disease, but to minimize the pain and damage while the disease runs its course. So the doctor sent them home with a little information to help mitigate the result that would come. Around the next spring, Rodney noticed that he was walking really weird; more than a limp. He got crutches, and had to use them to walk anywhere. From then until he was twelve, he used crutches to walk. So Rodney was on crutches for 2 years. Now, if you have ever sprained your ankle, or broken your leg, you know that it’s not fun. Even just for the few weeks you have to use them. You can’t run, you can’t play sports, and you can’t really do all of the things you enjoyed doing before you needed them. Now imagine having to go through that for two years. Two years. That must have been so hard, but I have never once heard him complain. Instead of telling me about how much it hurt, or how annoying it was, Rodney (being the optimist that he is) told me how he got advantages like using the crutches as extended arms, and learning to hop really well on his left foot. Even now at 16, Rodney still is experiencing side effects from the Leg-perthes. He can barely twist his right leg, while his left leg is fine and if he is working hard, he will start to limp again, but I have never ever heard him say anything negative in his life. When I asked him about why he needed the crutches, he told me it was because of the pain. It hurt so bad that if he walked on it or just stood on it, he would go to bed crying because of the pain. Another side affect from the leg-perthes, was that he didn’t have very many friends because of his crutches. He wasn’t’t being teased or labeled, as much as excluded. No one wanted to stay with him because he couldn’t play the games everyone else was playing. The main thing I admired about his story was that, instead of blaming his circumstances, or telling himself that it was okay to be gloomy because ‘well, he had a reason!’ he chose to learn from it. Rodney told me that the three words he would use to describe that experience were: (And I quote) Spiritual, refining, and everything I am now. Instead of letting his life be ruined by a bad attitude, he decided to learn as much as he could from it, and move on. How many of us could honestly say that we take that approach when examining our trials? Most likely, not very many. Human nature is to look back at trials with anger or resentment, but Rodney looked back trying to learn from it, and it changed his life.
Now, having said this, you might be thinking “well, not everyone who is happy has had those kinds of problems!” You are absolutely right. Most people don’t have trials like that. But it just goes to show, that you can be happy regardless of what may or may not be happening in your life. Don’t you see how pointless it is to feel bad for yourself? Now, one main factor to a bad attitude is that people think their problems are worse than everybody else’s. A lot of people who feel this way are letting their problems take over, and it ruins their experiences. For instance, say that one day you went to a youth activity, and you found out that they were going to be stuffing balls for humanitarian aid. But, well, you used to do that with your grandma, and you don’t really enjoy it…at all. In fact, you hate stuffing balls. Now, there are two ways you could react to this. First of all, you could ruin the experience of helping someone else for yourself and the rest of the group because of what attitude you portray, or second,  you could choose to not complain, and maybe even enjoy it after a bit. Which attitude do you think people would enjoy being around most? If you ask me, I would say the last attitude because you’re allowing others to have a good time even if you’re not having such a grand time yourself. I decided to ask around and find situations when someone’s attitude changed the experience for them. One of the examples I found was from my friend Rylee. Her mother had asked her to do the dishes, and their dishwasher was broken. Rylee hated washing the dishes and because the dishwasher was broken, she would have to do it all by hand. She did not want to wash the dishes by hand. Then, she decided that if she was going to have to do it anyway, she might as well have a good attitude about it. So she got her I-pod, turned on some music, and starting singing along and dancing while doing the dishes. To her surprise, she actually enjoyed doing it. Now imagine how different this would have been if she had refused to change her attitude, and done it with dread. The outcome would have been very different. So even if you don’t want to do something, you can still change your attitude, and enjoy life!
So, how does this apply to me? Well, everyone at some point in their life has had a bad attitude. It happens.  But just because you have a problem or trial doesn’t mean that your whole life has to be devoted to thinking about that problem. Recently in my Seminary Class, brother Lindow my seminary teacher gave us all pebbles to teach us a little object lesson. We also got a paper with a quote by Elder Richard G Scott, a leader in the LDS church. It said: “Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do. A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth. Some people are like rocks thrown into a sea of problems. They are drowned by them. Be a cork. When submerged in a problem, fight to be free to bob up to serve again with happiness.” When I heard this quote, I instantly thought of Eyore and Tigger. Eyore was holding his pebble up to his eye, while Tigger was walking over it and barely noticing it. However, one lesson I learned early in life was that most things are easier said than done. So, yes, we shouldn’t focus on our problems all day, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel bad for ourselves. I think one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my mom. She always said ‘leave your problems at the door’. Once you leave your bedroom, leave your problems there, and don’t let them bother you for the rest of the day. It really works! I have used that advice time and again. If something isn’t working out, it doesn’t need to paralyze you. Leave it at the door, and just enjoy life!
Having said this, I would like to challenge you all to leave your problems at the door and keep a good attitude wherever you go. Even one person can make a difference. You may think that your attitude doesn’t impact other, but it does. The way you act, rubs off onto those you associate with. If you are happy, others tend to be happy. If you act gloomy, those you associate with will tend to be gloomier. You can choose what attitude you portray. As my dad likes to say: In the final analysis happiness is a choice. It doesn’t just happen to you. I challenge you to choose to be happy, and to ignore any temptation to feel bad for yourself. As Rodney said: why am I so happy? I don’t know, it’s just a lot funner!

Education (Written by Jessica Boekweg)

In Harmony Educational Service’s’ Exceptional Scholar Program (Harmony ESP) mission statement it says, “Rising to the challenges of our day, we will elevate our vision, emulate principled men and women of the past and present, and do the hard work necessary to obtain an education that will fit us for our life missions.” That is something that we, as a school, and as a country, need to focus a little bit more on. To obtain an education that will fit us for our life missions. Unfortunately, a lot of the world is placing less of a priority on going to college or even getting a great education in high school. There are a few reasons that this might be happening. There aren’t high expectations, they don’t try to push themselves to do more than is required, and there are other distractions.
They don’t have high expectations being put on them, and they aren’t expecting great things from themselves. I know a lot of public schoolers who think that homeschoolers don’t know how to do anything. They have often asked me, “How on earth do you learn to do anything!? You don’t even do school!” or even the occasional, “OH! You’rehomeschooled! Well, don’t worry; we won’t give you anything difficult to do!” I have really had some teachers like that. They don’t have high expectations of us in our learning! They just think that because we’re homeschooled we obviously don’t do as well as those who are publicly schooled. I know a boy who, on every occasion possible, downgrades the education he thinks we’re getting, and talks about how he’s public schooled, and going to college at age 13. Yes that’s very impressive, but it’s not just because he’s public schooled. As homeschooled students, we have a choice on how fast we want to progress in our schooling! If any of us wanted to accomplish that, I’m sure we could. Easily! But often we don’t put very high expectations on ourselves. Sometimes we just let ourselves, “go with the flow of things” and we don’t see a reason to push ourselves to go higher. Expectations of others either help us, or hinder us in our quest to gain knowledge. Expectations do that with anything.
About a year ago I used to talk all of the time. I used to tell people everything that I was excited about! When I got excited about something, I tended to get kind of talkative and loud. Then just a few people who I would tell those things to started to comment or react negatively about what I was excited about, and a couple of them actually made rude remarks about how much I talked, and how loud I was. When I was in their presence and I would start to tell another friend something, they would comment, “Not again! Kill me now!” And so on and so forth. Their attitude about what I was excited about changed my attitude about it. I started being afraid to tell people anything, I started believing that what I was saying was dumb, and I got a lot quieter. It was only a couple people, but the opinions of those two changed my attitude about telling people things.
If those we associate with negatively respond to our potential, or don’t think we can do very much, we might begin to believe them. We usually believe what others think of us, and if they don’t expect us to achieve great things, then there will be nothing pushing us to try harder to achieve them. If we don’t expect ourselves to succeed in learning and education, then we will not. Our attitude towards it is what will change everything. I live in Sanpete County, and when I tell people that I come from Sanpete, sometimes they think that I don’t have any manners, and that I don’t use correct English, and that I’m just a country girl who doesn’t have a very good education. They are not putting very high expectations for me, just because I come from Sanpete. Even some of the teachers down where I live don’t have very high expectations, and neither do the parents.
Jennifer and I do another home school group called, “Camelot Commonwealth.” My mom went to a parent meeting before school started, and when she came home she was amazed at the lack of expectations some people put on their children. She said that one of the parents had expressed her opinion that the youth should not do any higher than 4thgrade math, explaining that they didn’t need much more math education than that as an adult. Maybe that’s because in Sanpete County a lot of the people here make their living off of farming, raising sheep, horses, cows, chickens, and other livestock. She rationalized that they didn’t need to know any higher math until college, if they even went to college, and if they did they could just take makeup classes to learn what, as my mom said, should have been taught to them when they were still in high school. I’ve seen this happen a lot in Sanpete County; the expectations of education aren’t as high as other places. The people there are a lot more laid back, and the youth there don’t understand how much an education will help them in their lives.
They don’t feel the need to more than required, which, even then, isn’t very much. One sure way to hate your school is to do ONLY what is required. NEVER do anything you want to do, only do the required learning. When you do what interests you, you’ll find yourselves enjoying what you’re doing! This happened to me when I was about 11. I play the piano, and when Jennifer and I were younger we were required to practice the piano. It was one of those things that we had to do before we could go play with friends, or do any other activity. It was my least favorite thing to do, and I had such a distain for it that my mom eventually stopped requiring it, so I stopped practicing. I don’t think I touched the piano for months, until last year when I found Jon Schmidt sheet music, and I could play it! And I would practice and practice and practice for hours until my mom had to make a rule that the piano was off limits during school time. See how much that changed around? At first it was required, and I hated it. Then, when I tried doing it of my own free will, I started loving it, so much so that my mom had to restrict my piano playing time!
If you apply this to schoolwork you can see that when something is required to be learned that you don’t feel interested in you usually detest it, whereas if you try to do it without feeling required, you will enjoy it a lot more! I have a friend named Rodney, and he is very willing to share his opinion on anything. When we were talking in a small group, the subject of what classes in school people hated, Rodney said, “I hate anything required!” and I have found that to be true! So much today is required, and when things are required we often do the minimum instead of trying to learn more, or learn what we want, and that makes it really hard to gain a great education.
There are so many other distractions: TV, phones, internet, friends, games, and the list goes on and on. Especially if you’re homeschooled, these can often distract you from getting schoolwork done; I know that has sometimes been the case with me! Distractions can lead to procrastinating your homework and to staying up really late to get things done on a deadline. Last year in school I had a strange fascination with writing. I LOVED to write anything, and if you gave me a pencil and something to write on, I would write something. A poem, a story, my thoughts, anything. I loved writing so much! And I would often find myself setting aside my schoolwork to write. I wouldn’t get very much done, and my mom would actually confiscate my journal because it was being too much of a distraction to me during my school time. I was focusing more on what was entertaining, in this case, writing on anything with a surface, than on my education which would help me succeed in life.
We all have something that might distract us from our schoolwork or our education. Whether it’s friends, reading, or even just sitting and thinking, it is a distraction, and it’s happening to much.
This is a problem because it is affecting the world, and the future leaders of the world.
The great leaders and others who changed the world all had great educations. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and many others had wonderful educations. Thomas Jefferson, at the age of nine, began studying Greek, Latin, and French, and at age 16 he was admitted into The College of William & Mary in Williamsburg, graduating two years later with highest honors. He understood the value of an education, and he did whatever he could to obtain one. A quote that I once heard by Malcolm X said, “Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.” I believe that the youth today that will be the leaders of tomorrow will be those who are trying right now to receive the highest education possible to them, and who are continually finding ways to learn. All of the leaders had education. Good and bad leaders alike. Just as George Washington and Benjamin Franklin were educated, Hitler and Stalin were as well, the only difference was that Benjamin Franklin and George Washington had values, and had been taught that way. It reminded me of a quote by C.S. Lewis which reads “Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.” Just because someone is educated, doesn’t mean that they are perfect. We need values in our education, and the United States need to incorporate the values more into the education system.
Not placing such an emphasis on schooling limits what we are able to understand.  The vocabulary of the founding fathers time is so extended. I don’t know if any of you have read the Declaration of Independence, but one of the passages quotes, “Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.”                                                                                                                    It would be very surprising to meet someone and have them start using such an extensive vocabulary! The people back then had such an amazing vocabulary, and a lot of them had great educations. No wonder they had such amazing leaders back then, they were educating their youth, and setting high expectations for them! If the youth of today are settling for simply a mediocre education, doing only what is required, and not trying to see how far they can go in life, that will be the future of the country. Our country’s future depends on the youth of today.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.” If the people in the United States are placing a very low value on education, how can we expect to have leaders who will be helping the country? We can’t be ignorant, and be free. Knowledge is essential to so many things, and unless we all try harder with our own, individual education, it will affect us and others around us.
Some ways that we could have more of a desire or motivation to get more of an education could be having support. Have you ever had a teacher, a friend, or even an adult who had such high expectations for you that you were motivated to try to reach them? I know that I have. I take a Mixed Martial Arts class down in Sanpete, and my teacher definitely has high expectations for me. Although he teases me about my non aggressiveness, and will go up to me and say, “Jessica, who’s being chicken!?” or even proceed to balk like a chicken at me, or tells me that I’m too shy to take this class, I can tell that he has very high expectations, and he often tells me that I catch on fast. He might say that I can’t hurt his grandma when I punch, but he is very supportive, and makes me want to succeed, not fail. That is the kind of person that will motivate you to succeed. One of my friend’s has a mom that has very high expectations for me, not only in learning, but also in optimism. She rarely calls me Jessica or Jessie, but usually calls me her little nickname for me, “Sunshine”. When she calls me Sunshine it makes me want to reach that opinion she has of me. It makes me want to try harder to have an optimistic attitude because she knows that I can do it, and it makes me want to try harder. And in my other school, Commonwealth, all of the teachers have very high expectations for the education that each student receives. When they set high expectations for us, it tends to make us want to do it. Henry Brooks said, “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”
It also really helps to have integrity and self control. Especially for homeschoolers, in order to get a good education you have to have integrity. I know families that home school and the parents aren’t always the taskmasters that make the kids do the school. When your education is up to you, you need to have the integrity to learn the things you can. Our education is one of the things that we can get now that will help us in the future. But it’s so easy to put it off for something that will benefit us right now. I know that has been a challenge for me sometimes. There is always something else that is trying hard to pull me away from learning. But if we have the self control and the integrity that we need to stay focused on learning we can all accomplish great things. Think about it. When was the last time you regretted gaining an education? I think that we need to strive to learn more and to become better; if we do that it will really help us in our future. It might not be as fun as other things, and it might be hard, but it is always worth it.

Rise each time you fall

Confucius once said: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
In seminary, we learned an object lesson that goes like this: In math, x+is an equation and x is a variable. So in this equation, x = How many times you fall or fail, and +1 means how many times you get up. In order for this equation to be correct, you always get up one more time than you fall.
“There is no shame in failing, the shame is in not trying” – Anonymous
Don’t be afraid of doing something because you might fail. Chances are you would succeed, but fear of failure is keeping you from success. And if you do end up failing, get back up. Thomas Edison failed plenty while trying to invent the lightbulb, but each time, he tried again, and now we have indoor lighting. Even if you mess up or fall down, get up! Don’t let failures determine your future
The race: attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg
Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”
******************************************************
Every time you feel like giving up, or not trying, I challenge you to ‘Get up! And win that race!”

The power of expectation

A few weeks ago, Mr. Martinou was talking about expectations. He told a story of his childhood. When he was about 12, he decided to see if he could jump over the families piano bench… The long way.
So he put the piano bench in the living room, got a running start from the kitchen, and jumped over it. He BARELY made it. Then, he decided to *challenge* himself. He put a pillow on top, and jumped it again. Again, he barely made it… he added a book, and barely made it. Pretty soon, he had chairs, blankets, pillows, books and stuffed animals piled on the piano bench — and he was barely making it. Now, if you look at how far he jumped the first time (About 3 ft) compared to how far he was jumping near the end, (about 8 ft) there is a big difference. However, when he had been jumping only 3 feet, he only expected to make it that far. So he kept at it, and eventually reached FAR longer than what he thought was his limit. A lot of people don’t expect themselves to achieve very much. They don’t expect themselves to make goals and fulfill them. Because of this, the only do what they expect of themselves, and that is far lower than their potential.
Another story Mr. Martinou shared was about a college professor from Harvard. The man wanted to do an experiment, so he made about 100 plain IQ tests which he titled: Harvard specialized exam. He then passed them out to students attending Junior High. The teachers and students all thought these were indeed Harvard Specialized Exams, instead of normal IQ tests. The man from Harvard collected the finished exams. Then, after grading them, he randomly (RANDOMLY. like closed his eyes and pointed to a test) selected 3 returned tests from each classroom he had visited. He then took the tests to each individual teacher, and told them that (I don’t know the names… let’s just go with.. ) Miranda, Stetson, and Julia were about to get a HUGE jump in their IQ. He told the teachers that the students he had randomly chosen, were destined to become great leaders someday. He then came back to those schools years later, and discovered that the students he had brought to attention *had* done better than the other students, and had been more successful in future years. Oh, one more thing? The students never found out the results of the tests. Those who succeeded never knew that the teachers believed they would be leaders someday. The reason they did well was because of their teachers expectations. Because of what their mentors thought they were capable of.
Now think about it. How often have you expected a lot of yourself? How far do you push yourself? If you have low expectations for yourself, you can never truly exceed them. However, if you set high expectations for yourself, you will find that your actual limit was much higher than you originally thought.
Another good point I got from this, is that a leader/mentor’s attitude does make a difference. If they expect you to go far, you will. If they expect you to fail, you probably will. If you are ever in a leadership opportunity, you should have high expectations for everyone that you associate with. Even if you’re not a leader, you should have high expectations. For everyone. It really does make a difference!